Composing A Life vol 8

Traditionally, women expected inequality in marriage, looking for husbands who were older, taller, richer, and more intelligent than themselves. Not surprisingly, these same husbands continue to earn more and expect their careers to take precedence. We used to be taught to avoid even the appearance of equality lest it threaten the marriage and lead to competition and conflict. Today, women seek equality, but the male game of “Anything you can do, I can do better” makes for a dull world.

lk 109

Composing A Life vol 3

The fine old idea of a path and a commitment turns out to be illusory for many people, not only for geographical and political refugees but for cultural refugees displaced by the discontinuities of custom and economy. Even those who continue to wear the same professional label survive only because they have altered what they do. Being effective as a banker or a restaurateur or a general means that one has relearned one’s craft more than once.

lk 9

Composing A Life vol 1

Today, the materials and skills which a life is composed are no longer clear. It is no longer possible to follow the paths of previous generations. This is true for both men and women, but it is especially true fo woman, whose whole lives no longer need be dominated by the rhythms of procreation and the dependencies that these created, but who still must live wiht the discontinuities of female biology and still must balance confliciting demands. Our lives not only take new directions; they are subject to repeated redirection, partly because of the extensions of our years of health and productivity. Just as the design of a building or of a vase must be rethought when the scale is changed, so must the design of lives. Many of the most basic consepts we use to construct a sense of self or the design of a life have changed their meanings: Work. Home. Love. Commitment.

lk 2